Two steps forward, one step back

I'm sort of beside myself right now. A couple big things that I have been worrying about that I thought had been resolved are not. And it sucks. Real bad.

My roommate situation I thought had been resolved. My cousin had agreed to move in when my current roommate moved out, but then she bailed on that Tuesday night. Can't blame her, really, since she had gotten back with her ex-girlfriend.

Then one of my good friends, who previously had been given six months to live with lung cancer only to be told earlier this week that it wasn't cancer, found out earlier today that the biopsies indeed do show that he has lymphoma. It's early, and the doctor is confident that it can be treated with chemotherapy.

I hate the roller coaster effect of the last few weeks. Let it be up, or let it be down. I don't know that I have it in me much longer to keep doing both.

The century mark

This is post No. 100 for me, and I have nothing of importance to say here. Except that, if you are one of my friends and one of my favorite bartenders in the world who just found out that you have lung cancer, know that I love you and momentarily will be on my knees at the foot of my bed praying harder than I ever have prayed in my life for you.

And tomorrow/tonight, I am going to the Cubs/Cards game. We (the Cubs) are going to get our asses handed to us because Rich Hill is facing Adam Wainwright, but I don't care. It's going to be a blast, even if I end up going myself! (Don't think I haven't sat through more than one Cubs/Cards game by myself!)

OK, that's enough random ramblings for this night... It's time to go to sleep, bitches!

Thank God for antidepressants

I got some news today that seems to solidify the fact that my stepfather has cancer. We're still not 100 percent sure, but the doctor apparently believes it to be the case.

It's such a weird emotional time for me. On the one had, I lived in absolute fear of him for a lot of years. On the other hand, he's the closest thing I have had to a father for the last 20+ years.

I don't know what to think. As soon as I got off the phone with mom tonight, I lost it. And I've pretty much been bawling my fucking eyes out all night since.

All I can say is that I have no clue what I would be doing right now if I didn't have the Wellbutrin.