It's been a while...

But here I am again!

I just got back from a mini-vacation at the Lake of the Ozarks with one of my best friends and some family and friends, and it was AMAZING! Granted, my liver has again suffered irreparable damage, but you will have that on occasion!

I did a lot of fun things, saw some things I NEVER thought I'd see and had what was quite simply one of the best times of my life. Certainly the best vacation of my adult life!

The last month-and-a-half or so have been interesting. Several doors apparently have closed in my life, but Providence has opened many windows in their place.

Work certainly is becoming more interesting as I move back into the night news side. At first, I was pissed about that, but I am becoming much more excited. I know it will work out well.

In all, life is pretty good, and I am doing my best to enjoy it!

Anyhow, back to cleaning and watching some CSPAN coverage of the Democrat convention!

Growing pains

Sarah just reminded me of something that is very, very true: growth and healing is not always pretty. How true.

Let me start by saying that the Wellbutrin really is doing great things for me. It has slowed my brain down so much and really allowed me to calm down about a lot of things. The downside to this is that it really has allowed me to realize what a douchebag I have been the last month or so. I've made some serious mistakes in some friendships, misinterpreted some situations and blown some things out of proportion. And it hasn't been fair to me or to the people around me.

This all hit me tonight at the gym while I was in the tanning bed. After tanning, I got on the elliptical, and I wasn't on it for more than 5 minutes when I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. The thought of how juvenile I have been just overwhelmed me.

So now, I know what I have to work on. It's not pretty.

I know I have it in me to change, and I know that once something is learned it cannot be unlearned. That is the good thing.

Again, I have a lot to fix. But it will be fixed.

Changing times

It seems like life is in a constant state of upheaval lately; not just for me, but for several of my friends, as well.

A wake-up call for me at work a few weeks ago and news that my stepfather (in the best-case scenario) has about a 20% chance of survival have been weighing heavily on me. Not to mention the fact that I've really been struggling with some serious identity issues over the past few months, anyhow.

And I'm watching a couple people who are nearly as close to me as my skin go through similar ordeals. Both have been there for me whenever I've needed them, and both are pillars in my life. They are so incredibly strong; much, much stronger than either gives themselves credit for being.

I'm also watching some friends' careers and education taking off, and I am so proud of them.

My brother and his fiancee are preparing to be married later this year, and I am so proud of them both and of the new family they are going to build. My sister and her husband have welcomed a daughter into the world in the last year, and they are making a wonderful life for all their children.

Still, I can't help but wonder: Where am I going?

I know that with as much change as there is in my life and in the lives of those around me, something huge must be on the horizon.

All I can do is be patient and let life reveal itself to me. But anyone who knows me knows that patience is not a virtue for which I have much regard!

In the meantime, I remain eternally grateful for those who have been there to support me and eternally vigilant for the need to return the favor.