A simple gift

I've spent the past few minutes with tears in my eyes, and for the first time in a long time, they are not tears of sadness. Rather, I've been moved by a touching gesture by my friends Gabe and James. The silly bitches bought me a charm bracelet watch at Target that has Zac Efron's face on it, along with the "High School Musical 2" logo.

It's a simple gift, to be sure, but one that totally touched me.

I feel sometimes like I completely give myself away, to the point, often, that I don't even have a piece of myself left to hold on to. And in the moments of weakness when I need me, I don't have it. Often in those moments, I do something stupid or rude or hateful or embarrassing or inappropriate and end up feeling like a huge asshole. Then I feel like everyone is going to abandon me, but in reality, I have abandoned myself.

I've been trying the last few days to let my anger at myself go, to forgive myself for things that really did not bring about the end of the world. And to get the invitation to come hang out tonight and then receiving such a simple little homo gift really cemented (I hope it's that permanent, anyhow) in me the fact that my friends do love me, and that they will be there for me. Not just for me... With me.

This isn't the only gift I've received lately, either. Andrea a couple weeks ago gave me some magnets that were naked men wearing only strategically placed oven mitts. And Carrie has sent me some cards in the past couple months that truly made me smile. Jimmy invited me to his place to have a glass of wine sometime. Landon wanted me to have a cigarette with him, but I was downtown getting my watch. Sarah tells me nearly every single day that she loves me.

All these things really are gifts, precious ones at that, because of their simplicity. That's why I am attaching these two videos to this post. The song in both is "Simple Gifts," an old Shaker dance song from the 19th century.

The song was really popularized by Aaron Copland in the score for the ballet "Appalachian Spring." The video above is his orchestration of the song, with pictures taken by Ansel Adams. The video below is the Gay Men's Chorus of Los Angeles singing the song.

Life truly is beautiful when you can appreciate the simple things.

Lyrics:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come round right.