And so it is...

...that things are changing. That's the one constant in life: It never remains the same.

It's the same way in soap operas; when two characters finally get to a place where all there issues are resolved and they are ready to live peacefully, they are written off the show. Why? No one watching soap operas to see a lack of drama.

In real life, drama drives people away. I've been told a lot recently that I have done a lot to creat drama in peoples' lives. And perhaps I have. No, in fact, I will admit that. I have done a lot to create drama.

Was it intentional? No. But that doesn't change the fact that it happened. It also doesn't change the fact that some of these same people have done a lot to interject drama into my life, as well. Did they mean to do it? I don't think so.

Fact is, I think everyone acts with the best of intentions with the best information they have available to them at the time. But life is not perfect. Shit happens, etc.

I am in an incredible state of flux right now. My roommate is moving out (I can't blame him, he really is getting a sweet deal, but that doesn't change the fact that it still hurts and makes me angry and that I keep getting this impression from our friends that I was the last person to know about it), one of my best friends is moving away (I can't blame him, either, inasmuch as the last few months have been more than rocky), and the one person I ever, I think, have truly been in love with finally is out of my life (not by his choice, but by mine; I can't take it anymore - I just hope that I am strong enough to hold myself to it!). I can't help any of those facts. I can just help me. So I have decided to NOT sit at home and mope. I have decided TO go on living.

I am pretty sure that I have a new roommate lined up to stay with me in this apartment that I love. I am re-establishing connections with friends that I have let slide away over the last year or so. I am reclaiming me, for no one BUT me.

I get to have my kids this weekend, and that thought is more than helping me through this; it really is propelling me!

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend, and I look forward to writing more about the fun times that I know I will be having!

P.S. I totally realize that the sixth graph of this post contains what is quite possibly the longest sentence that I ever have written. Tough shit. I couldn't write it any other way. To quote Eddie Murphy, "If you don't like it Lillian, you can get the fuck out."