Where were you exactly nine years ago?

Not many of us likely will be able to answer that question. I can, though.

Nine years ago, at this very moment, I was in my bed at the first house that my ex-wife and I rented, staring at the ceiling. I was nervous as hell, because in less than 10 hours, I would be married.

It's funny how things work out. I laid there that night praying - begging, really - for the strength to be able to make the marriage work. A few short years later, I would be praying for the strength to end the marriage.

On one hand, I wish that things would have been different. I wish that I never had gotten to know her, then maybe both of our lives would have turned out a lot better. On the other hand, I am proud of the woman that she has become and am most assuredly blessed with the three children that we have together.

Was that time together easy? God, no! We had our ups and downs, our fights, our good times and bad... I held her hand through childbirth and I held her hand (and corralled two toddlers) in a triage room while she miscarried what would have been our third child.

While the marriage was ending, we couldn't stand to be around each other. I reminded her that she was now "damaged goods" as she put it, and she reminded me that I once again had not lived up to expectations.

After we finally separated, we were both very flippant about things, acting as if being divorced was the most normal thing in the world. When she finally met someone that she fell in love with, things turned bad, and I am glad that they did. It finally gave us both the distance and closure that we needed.

We've worked through all that now, and I think we actually get along better now than we ever did. We are candid and frank with each other, we laugh, we disagree... We're adults, really. And it is amazing.

Things really have changed in the last decade or so, and I think it all is for the better.

In a few more weeks, she will be getting married again, and I am so happy for her. She deserves happiness. I wish I could be there, but I totally understand the awkwardness that would create.

Anyhow, Tobra, I wish you all the luck in the world. To borrow your phrase, "Happy Unniversary!"