Sarah just reminded me of something that is very, very true: growth and healing is not always pretty. How true.
Let me start by saying that the Wellbutrin really is doing great things for me. It has slowed my brain down so much and really allowed me to calm down about a lot of things. The downside to this is that it really has allowed me to realize what a douchebag I have been the last month or so. I've made some serious mistakes in some friendships, misinterpreted some situations and blown some things out of proportion. And it hasn't been fair to me or to the people around me.
This all hit me tonight at the gym while I was in the tanning bed. After tanning, I got on the elliptical, and I wasn't on it for more than 5 minutes when I had to run to the bathroom to vomit. The thought of how juvenile I have been just overwhelmed me.
So now, I know what I have to work on. It's not pretty.
I know I have it in me to change, and I know that once something is learned it cannot be unlearned. That is the good thing.
Again, I have a lot to fix. But it will be fixed.
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1 comment:
You are entirely too hard on yourself. You have no idea how many times you've made me happy just by saying hi.
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