Sorry...

I know I haven't really posted much of anything of substance lately. It's been a rough week or so.

I got some pretty bad news about a family member's health, and it really hit me harder than I thought it would. (I'd say more, but that this point we don't really know for sure what is going on exactly.) He's meeting with a specialist tomorrow afternoon to find out what's next, but there is this thought that he won't be around much longer that keeps lingering over my whole family.

I'm going home this weekend to be with my folks, so I don't know how much I'll be posting. Hopefully some, though!

Down on Avenue Q

Some friends and I went to see "Avenue Q" on Sunday at the Fabulous Fox Theatre. In short, it was amazing. Think "Sesame Street," but X-rated.

A couple of the friends were put off a bit by the sight of cute puppets having dirty, filthy, ugly sex, but I nearly wet myself.

Thank god the guy setting next to me who smelled like a taco bar left at intermission!

Here are a couple video clips from the show (not Sunday's show, but "Avenue Q" in general):

"The Internet is for Porn"



"If You Were Gay" (with a twist!)



"Popular" (From "Wicked," done by two "Q" characters!)



My favorite characters, though, are the Bad Idea Bears. Unfortunately, I found no video of them. Not that I looked all that thoroughly. Anyhow, they're the cutest things EVER, and they totally will bring you a noose when you feel like a loser! My friend Landon, about 3 seconds after they were introduced on the stage, looked at me and told me I am his Bad Idea Bear. Awwwwww....

If you need a good laugh today, watch these!

So a while back, Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon made a little film called "I'm F*cking Matt Damon" that aired on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Kimmel, of course, is Silverman's long-term boyfriend. It was hilarious! Haven't seen it? Watch it now:



Last night, after the Oscars, Kimmel and Ben Affleck aired their response video. It's so far over the top that it boggles the mind. You MUST love this:

Screw Karen Walker.

Only because I can't be like her.

"And I've got a stack of pills I haven't even opened yet..."

And because:

"It's true what they say: You don't buy tequila. You rent it."

Ugh.

Want more Karen? Try here or here.

Thanks, Sarah, for the links!

A bit confused...

I'm most of the way through the first chapter of "The Power of Now," and I have to admit that I am finding it a bit confusing. In a totally beating-around-the-bush kind of way. I'm going to give it a chance, though.

In the meantime, I am off to the gym!

New reading materials!

On the advice of my friend Ryan, I decided to order the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It arrived the other day, and I am going to be starting it in a few minutes.

It's a book about abandoning the ego behind, and I am really excited to start it. I, of course, will be posting about my thoughts while reading the book.

I also ordered a book called "Journal of a Novel: The 'East of Eden' Letters" by John Steinbeck. It's a collection of letters he wrote to his publisher while he wrote "Eden" in 1951. "East of Eden" is, of course, my favorite book of all time. After I finish the collection of letters, I will be rereading it, with, I hope, a new perspective on what I consider to be the greatest novel ever.

Come back from time to time and check up on how I am getting along with the books!

These look soooooo comfy!

I saw an ad for these flip-flops on another site, and I CAN'T WAIT to order a pair! Granted, I think $40+ (including s/h) is a bit pricey, but I think I am going to splurge. They would have come in very handy when I worked near Chicago, and we wore shorts, T-shirts and flip-flops to work pretty much year-round. Ah.... Those were the days!

If you want to check them out, go to the Bonsai Sandals website.

On the subject of moving songs

I found this version of U2's "Bad," one my favorites of the band's songs. It was recorded live in 1985, and the video is pieced from several live performances. Simply amazing.

Worth listening to...

My favorite Elton John album is "Tumbleweed Connection." If you haven't heard it, you definitely should. It's soulful and moving and heart-wrenching and touching and, well, amazing.

I listened to it today at work, and for some reason, was really touched by it.

I'm embedding a couple clips from the album. The first is "My Father's Gun." I was talking to a friend last night about some of the things I went through as a child at my father's doing, and listening to the song today, I was blown away. I've heard it a thousand times (not literally!), but today it really touched me. Makes me wish that he could be a man whose mantle I could pick up and carry to the end of the world.

The clip includes scenes from the movie "Elizabethtown," also worth checking out.



The second song on the album that I love is "Amoreena." It's actually my favorite Elton John song. Such a mystic, playful, bittersweet, nostalgic love song. Right up my alley!

The clip is from the movie "Dog Day Afternoon," starring Al Pacino, who plays a bank robber trying to get money to pay for his transexual lover's gender reassignment. Pretty ground-breaking for 1975. One of my favorites!



Treat your ears and your soul... listen to these two and then get the whole album.

Nothin' like a good piece of ass...

moar humorous pics

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

No, I'm not talking about winter, which is my favorite season. I'm talking about Spring Training. Pitchers and catcher already are in camp (insert appropriate gay joke here), and position players are reporting this week. What does that mean?

10 DAYS UNTIL SPRING TRAINING GAMES BEGIN!

I have HUGE hopes there year for my beloved Chicago Cubs, who signed Kosuke Fukudome (pronounced Foo-koo-DOH-may, not fuck-you-DO-me like one loyal STLP-D reader thought after seeing his name on the back of a Cubs jersey. Moron.). Fukudome will be making his MLB debut this year after a stellar career in Japan.

Mark Prior is gone (thank God), and we're finally counting on nothing from Kerry Wood other than to contribute some out of the bullpen.

Of course, this optimism for Wrigley's residents ultimately will be shattered and driven into the ground like a discarded cigarette come mid-July, when they are 20 games out of first, but in the meantime, a girl can dream, right?

Go Cubbies!

Incredible Pizza!

Here are the pics from this weekend... I had such a good time, and I know the kids did, too!

Heidi:



Elijah:



Hailey:



All three:



Elijah was bad, so Jerod cuffed him:



Elijah behind the wheel... scary that he is halfway there:



Heidi and I getting ready to hit the track:



Hailey and Landon at the starting line:



Hailey, Jimmy, Heidi, Elijah and Landon:

Whew!

So the pizza/fun adventure went VERY well!

The kids were pretty well-behaved, though they did put on a show — naturally! — for Jerod, Landon and Jimmy at Ultimate Pizza. Chris and Craig unfortunately could not make it, though.

We had a blast on go-karts and bumper cars, as well as playing games.

Jerod had to leave early, but Landon and Jimmy stuck around. In all, we played for about 3 hours after we ate. And then we got to have some nice conversation on the way home. Most all of which was about my friends. They both (especially Landon, though Hailey did express quite the affinity for Jimmy!) made some serious fans today. And, as always, they loved seeing "Uncle Jerod Pinocchio-Nose." What can I say... My kids have good taste!

I've got some great pictures, and I will be putting them up, most likely tomorrow night.

Language

Heidi just said she shot Elijah's titty. What the hell are they teaching kids in Oklahoma these days?

A new experience

I'm sort of nervous. I've got my kids in St. Louis, which always is an interesting experience, and I'm taking them to Ultimate Pizza for an afternoon of fun with my friends Jerod, Landon and Jimmy. Chris and Craig will be meeting us later. Nothing like six homos and three kids to tear up South County!

And one more thing...

Love songs can suck it, too.

Although I do love "I Will Always Love You." But it's not really a love song because it's about leaving.

This comes up because I was listening to a remix of Whitney Houston's version of the song today at work. My friend Landon has re-awakened my interest in Whitney, and my friend Ryan hooked me up with some tracks for iTunes. (They rock!)

Nonetheless, I also listened to Dolly Parton's original (also provided by Ryan!) today. And I have to repeat what I told Landon the other night: Even though I do love Whitney and her AMAZING voice, I prefer Dolly's version.

From the Urban Dictionary

For those of you who doubted me, I am providing you definitions for the word "assload." It's even in the Bible!

1. ASSLOAD

More than a lot but less than a shitload Man, I have an assload of reading for history tonight.

2. ASSLOAD

The burden that can be borne by one's ass (Equus asinus)

And he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass. So they saddled him the ass: and he rode thereon, and was an assload. (Kings 1, 13:13)

I hate happy endings

For real. Don't get me wrong. I'm the same sap as most every other homo out there who cries at romantic comedies and bawls his eyes out watching "Dreamgirls."

And on this, the most unholy of days, the romance and happy endings are EVERYWHERE... on TV, in the theaters... in commercials, for god's sake.

Not in my DVD player, though.

I wrote a posting a while back about my old movies disappearing in a move. I ordered two of them yesterday from Amazon.com, and I can't wait for them to show up. They're considered classic love stories, but, neither have happy endings.

"Casablanca" is the first. Now, I have to admit right upfront that this is my favorite movie of all time. I can watch it anywhere, anytime, anyplace, with anyone, any number of times and never get bored with it.

I think the biggest reason for my love of this movie, aside from the fact that Humphrey Bogart could totally GET IT, is the fact that it does not have a happy ending. The hero does the right thing, which means NOT getting the girl, and has to disappear into the fog. Amazingly real. At least, in my experience.

"An Affair to Remember" is the second movie. Yes, it's responsible for the whole "Sleepless in Seattle" phenomenon that has sent us a whole assload (an actual unit of measurement... look it up) of crappy, happy-ending love films.

But I don't consider "Affair" to have a happy ending. Sure, Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr end up together. Eventually. All it takes is her losing the use of her legs.

Yes, if she hadn't been looking up while walking to the Empire State Building, they would have met, and everything would have been fine. But that's my point. In real life, we all make choices that cause us anguish. Nothing ever is perfect; no one gets to ride off into the sunset with Prince Charming.

No happy fucking endings.

I'm baa-aaaack

It's been a pretty wild week or so, but I'm sitting down now, catching my breath and filling in the world on what's been happening.

A week ago Monday, I was sitting at my desk after work and began to feel crappy. As the afternoon wore on, my throat started to swell, my gland in my neck began to swell, white spots began erupting in my throat and I started to feel feverish. No nausea, so I knew I was coming down with strep throat.

Great. (This is sarcasm.)

I stopped at Walgreen's on the way home and picked up a thermometer, and my temperature had climbed above 101 degrees. I knew it was time to go to the emergency room and get some antibiotics PRONTO!

My roommate dropped me off at Barnes-Jewish hospital, where I was told they had about a 10-hour backlog of patients, thanks to an outbreak of the flu.

Great.

After about 5 hours, I finally was called back to see a doctor. At this point, I also had a killer headache, and my neck was very stiff. So the doctor tells me he wants to do a spinal tap to rule out meningitis.

Great.

After a dose of atavan to calm my nerves, I get onto my right side and curl into the fetal position. He gets the needle in but stops because, he tells me, "I'm sorry, I need a longer needle."

Great.

So he gets the longer needle and proceeds to stick that into my spinal column. While the first time was not too bad, this needle kept grinding on my vertebrae and occasionaly brushing my spinal cord. Mind you, I am supposed to be holding perfectly still; that's a bit hard to do when you feel electricity shooting down your legs and an uncontrollable urge to kick.

Great.

So I went into a profanity-laced tirade, screaming at the doctor to get the needle out of my back. He complied, thank God, and told me of another option, this procedure involved a radiologist performing the spinal tap with the guidance of a fluoroscope. I opted to go ahead with that. Six hours later, they were wheeling me into the radiology lab to perform the THIRD spinal tap of the visit.

Great.

Several hours later, a new doctor, who didn't even introduce himself, came into the area where I was resting, asking if I had one of the vials of spinal fluid. Like I would have just carried that the hell out of the room. The vial apparently was located, for the test results came back a few hours later negative for meningitis. Praise the lord.

I got to go home, and I went straight to bed. They'd been pumping me full of antibiotics, so I wasn't feeling much of the strep throat at that point, although my back was pretty damn sore.

Wednesday morning, though, I woke up, feeling pretty well, actually, until I stood up. And then fell right back down, screaming from the pain of the worst headache I ever have felt in my life. I've had migraines before, but this was the worst thing I ever have felt. (I found out later that one or all of the spinal punctures Monday night/Tuesday morning had not sealed and my cerebrospinal fluid was draining into my back. Why is this serious? Well, it's the shit that holds your brain up. Kind of a big deal.)

Great.

As the day goes on, I start to become nauseous, and I started vomiting that night. And kept vomiting on through Thursday. I called my doctor, and he told me to get back to Barnes right away; he would arrange to have me admitted.

Great.

My friend Gabe took me to the hospital, and I eventually was taken to a room. After a night of fluids and next to no pain medication, my doctor arrived Friday morning. He saw how little pain medicine I was getting, and he immediately ordered more. Yay, doctor! I spent most of Friday drugged out of my mind.

Great. (Seriously, I mean that one. No sarcasm intended!)

Friday afternoon, I met with the anesthesiologist who would be performing yet another fluoroscope-guided lumbar puncture, this time to inject blood into the spinal column in hopes that it would clot and seal the leak in my back. Once completed, and once I had a GIANT bruise on my arm, I began to feel immediate relief. Of course, this meant that they discontinued my pain medication shortly thereafter.

Great. (Resume sarcasm.)

I felt even better Saturday, and I was able to come home that afternoon. My mom, who had come to sit with me at the hospital, brought me home. We watched a movie, and she went back to Hannibal. I got some rest, and woke up Sunday feeling still better. I tried to go meet some friends, though, at the City Diner for brunch, and when I walked in, the noise overwhelmed me and made me want to vomit. I had to turn right back around and leave.

Great.

I slept for a few hours, and I eventually went out for a bit Sunday night to meet those same friends. It was all right, but when it was time to go home Sunday night, it was time RIGHT FUCKING THEN.

Great.

I woke up Monday, feeling even better. Yay! Still nowhere near human, but I still managed to go in to work. I only stayed about a half day, though, and then came home and took a brief nap. I ended up going out for Chinese food with a friend, and was home and in bed by 9:30 p.m.

Great. Now I'm turning into my grandmother.

Woke up Tuesday morning, and I HAD NO HEADACHE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN NEARLY A WEEK! Feeling normal has never felt so good! I made my neighbor go out with me and one of my best friends last night to celebrate!

I'm following up with my real doctor tomorrow afternoon at his office, but right now, I feel fine. I'm hoping it stays that way!

Also, I need new windshield wipers.

Great.

A possible new tattoo

moar funny pictures

Not even lying. I already would have a finger mustache tattoo if the damn place had been open last winter instead of closing for an ice storm. Pansies.

Don't look directly at it!

After years of saying I was going to do it, and I kept putting it off. Finally, though, last night, I got myself tucked, taped and painted and hit the stage as Neara Wang. And it was awesome!

Not saying that I was awesome, but the experience itself was so much fun.

The picture is of me performing my opening number, Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry." Later on, I also performed Suzanne Palmer's "Fascinated." The Fergie number definitely was better, but I still had fun during "Fascinated."

I have to give many thanks to Jai, who went out of his way to help me out and show me the ropes. And to Mark, who let me wear one of his pantsuits. And to Hope Hollaway, who lent me a dress. And to Tim and Laura, who came and cheered me on. And especially to Gabe, James and Landon, who all are rocks for me to lean on, and who all are truly amazing people!

Not so sure I'll be doing it again, but hey... Those two songs were fun!